It has been awhile since I have posted on this blog. My own personal life has seen some twists and I needed to concentrate on the things that were precedent. I recently checked back and came across a couple of emails from a family who, it seems, had an experience that was not memorable. I will be conversing with them to see if they are willing to share their experiences with the blog community here.
To answer a lot of the comments that I was unable to respond to before... here goes.
1. "all I hear is someone who seems to hate Paula"
That couldn't be further from the truth. I do not hate Paula. What I strongly dislike is that there are more than a handful of families who have had very unsettling and unsatisfactory experiences as a result of actions she took or didn't take in their birth stories. I strongly dislike that there are families who have potentially permanently disabled children due to inadequate action during their birth story. I strongly dislike that there are families who now completely distrust the process of birth and homebirth because of having had a very bad experience in their birth story with Paula. I do not hate Paula.
2. "A forum for gossip is destructive. It never resolves anything. Gossip is destructive, but a grievance committee would have resolution."
You are correct. Gossip IS destructive. However, this is NOT gossip. It is women who have had real experiences who are speaking out about their experience and allowing OTHER women the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding their homebirth provider. IF they choose to interview Paula and ask her the questions they want to ask, and they are satisfied with the answers and choose to hire her, that is their decision and they have every right to it. I pray that their birth goes smoothly and uneventfully, which is the same thing I pray for EVERY birth, whether it be with Paula or with a hospital or birth center. However, the women who had Paula as their midwife and had very unsatisfactory experiences and damaging experiences for themselves and/or their child, certainly wish they had made different decisions. This is about truth and not hiding unsavory things and just highlighting the positive births. Its about being honest about WHY the unsavory births happened. YES, bad experiences can come about in any birth setting: true. YES, mothers and babies can have bad outcomes in the hospital too surrounded by the best medical equipment and surgical tools on hand. But when homebirth is supposed to be safe for a healthy mother and baby and yet turns out not to be too many times in so many rolls of the dice, then something is not right.
3. Paula responded, " I will gladly sit down with you and address your concerns."
I'm sorry Paula. I have no desire to sit down and discuss anything with you. I do, however, wish for you to address the questions that were previously posted on this blog. Namely:
1. Who did you train under ( get your actual hands on experience) and who signed off on your skills checklists? And what is their contact information to verify?
2. Who are you currently working with? Do you have "students" you are "training"? Are you licensed to provide such training as well?
3. Can you honestly say that there have NOT been complaints with the board against you? If so, what were they and how many?
These questions are valid questions that any and all homebirth clients should be asking you. And you should be able to answer them. So why can you choose not to answer them in a public forum such as this when you have nothing to hide?
4. "Those are questions that can only be answered by Paula. Good questions for a prospective family to ask a midwife. And you should be able to contact any senior midwives she studied under for confirmation."
Yes, exactly. She should be able to confirm who were her senior midwives she worked under, who she trained under, where she received her training, and who signed off on her skills training. Up until now, she has not provided those answers for verification in any capacity. Would still love to know. Anyone have an answer?
5. "The lack of facts or supporting evidence throughout your own posts and the overly emotionally constructed Paula-slam posts lack logical soundness, are not cogent, and are weak."
Yes, you are right. I cannot list facts because I was not there. It was not my birth or my baby under Paula's care. However, the supporting evidence is from the mothers themselves. I have no need to create anything illogical or outside of truth. I can let the mothers speak for themselves. Why do some choose not to say their names? Because just like we are afraid to speak up against those who say we shouldn't have a homebirth in the first place, who are uneducated about the efficacy and safety of a homebirth attended by a trained midwife, those women with terrible experiences don't need the 'I told you so,' either. I can only hope that those women understand that it wasn't the process of birth, rather unfortunately. Yes, bad experiences can happen 'in any geography' as you so eloquently stated. However, birth can be botched in a hospital too at the hands of an over-eager doctor ready to go on vacation, or at the hands of an ill-trained midwife who would rather rely on her students and assistants and make sure she attends a family recital versus properly attending her client. So, it is not MY story needing to be told. Rather, I want to be that forum that those women who need to speak their peace, can, in safety and openness.
6. One commenter said, "But if you are hiring a midwife to attend you, and she is not truthful about her experience, skills, knowledge....or even about WHEN she will arrive at your birth - that is wrong. That is giving you a risk you have not knowingly accepted."
Exactly. When you call your midwife and say you want her there, shouldn't she come? Or should she arrive moments before you give birth? OR moments after? What do you think?
7. Another said, " I am personally upset and offended by this as I carefully interviewed several area midwives and thoroughly researched homebirth before choosing Paula. I did my homework and think I made a great choice by choosing Paula."
I am happy that you made the right choice for YOU. I am happy that your birth went well and you had a great experience. I am happy that you and your baby are healthy. Again, I am not "hating" Paula. I only want real answers to real questions and desire that no more families have to go through debilitating and horrible experiences because of bad choices on HER part, not theirs. Choosing homebirth was not a bad choice, ... it is a personal one. Choosing a midwife is also a personal choice. And again, bad things can happen even with the best doctors present. But if someone willingly does not present themselves in truth, and willingly takes action in a moment of crisis that is in error, or chooses to take action in an area that they are not skilled in, that could mean near fatal or fatal consequences for a mother or baby. It could also mean scarring for life, or incontinence for life, or a disability for life.
8. "I realize that the mediator of this site has complete control of what info is seen and used. "
While true, as the mediator, I have control, however, every comment posted is posted. It is not held back for me to "decide" what gets posted. Obviously if that were the case, why would I post things that people post that are positive experiences with Paula? That would not be true to the nature of the forum. It is open to positive AND negative. I would love to be wrong and say that every situation has had a happy ending and that every baby has been healthy and every mom happy. But as you can see, that is NOT the case. It's getting to the bottom of WHY is the matter here. She chooses not to address the questions of her training. And why do I ask?
Because if she was not to receive the proper training, she shouldn't have a license to practice midwifery. If she did, all is well, then. But she still has not answered to where her training was received, and by whom, and who can verify it. Why shouldn't she be able to answer those things publicly?
Again, if you have had a great experience with Paula or any other midwife, I applaud you and congratulate you. If you have not had a great experience and believe that the midwife who attended your birth did not have the training or experience necessary, you can file an official complaint with the medical board. The link is below:
Medical Board of California Complaints
Please do not be silent for fear of retaliation. Please come forward, even if anonymously. It is not about "bashing" anyone. It is about SAVING lives and preventing the bad experiences of families who otherwise would not know the truth.
Thank you.
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